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Aware Parenting, developed by developmental psychologist Dr Aletha Solter, is an attachment-based and trauma-informed approach to parenting. It centres on three core pillars: attachment-style parenting, non-punitive discipline, and the healing of stress and trauma.
Aware Parenting integrates several bodies of research which are at the core of its unique and deep emphasis on the stress-release function of crying, laughter, and other emotional mechanisms. It offers parents joyful techniques to harness the healing power of play and laughter to support children and foster a loving, connected relationship.
Unlike traditional approaches that often aim to stop crying or tantrums, Aware Parenting views these expressions as natural, healthy mechanisms for children to process and release accumulated stress and trauma. Parents are encouraged to respond with loving presence, empathy, and non-judgemental listening, rather than using distraction or trying to "fix" the feelings.
Aware Parenting provides concrete tools for parents to set rules and limits, and engage in peaceful conflict resolution—without relying on rewards, bribes, or any form of punishment. It recognises that challenging behaviours often stem from unmet needs or unhealed emotional pain, which can result from authoritarian or permissive discipline styles.
By embracing a child’s full emotional spectrum and providing a secure, empathetic environment, Aware Parenting aims to raise cooperative, compassionate, and emotionally intelligent individuals.
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About Aware Parenting
The Three Main Pillars of Aware Parenting
Unique to Aware Parenting, this principle supports children’s natural mechanisms to heal from stress and trauma, which are often at the root of behavioural and emotional problems.
Healing of Stress and Trauma
Non-Punitive Discipline
This principle rejects the use of punishments, rewards, or bribes. Instead, it focuses on understanding the underlying needs and emotions driving a child’s uncooperative behaviour.
This principle emphasises building a secure and loving bond between parent and child through responsiveness, physical closeness, and attunement to their needs.
Attachment-Style Parenting
You will learn how to create a safe base from which your child can explore the world, knowing their emotional and physical needs will be met. This fosters deep trust and a sense of security. Such a strong connection forms the essential foundation for healthy development and emotional well-being.
You will learn to set rules and limits with love and empathy, to engage in peaceful conflict resolution, and to meet unmet needs rather than seek to control behaviour. You’ll be supported to respond to all challenging behaviours in ways that address their root causes. In turn, this increases cooperation by fostering intrinsic motivation and a respectful parent–child relationship—free from fear or manipulation.
You will learn how to use specific types of play and how to respond to crying, tantrums, and raging to support your child’s healthy stress release as part of everyday life. You will learn to recognise how your individual child suppresses and accumulates painful emotions, and how to guide them towards healthy emotional release. In doing so, you’ll support your child to relieve difficult feelings and return to a calmer, more loving and cooperative state.
Why choose aware parenting?
Parents choose Aware Parenting to build stronger bonds and foster their children's emotional well-being. This method uniquely emphasises accepting and understanding all emotions, particularly allowing children to express stress and trauma through natural means like crying and laughter.
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By prioritizing secure attachment and responding to needs with empathy, parents help children develop emotional intelligence and regulation. It moves away from traditional punishment, focusing instead on non-punitive discipline that addresses the root causes of behavior and promotes genuine cooperation.
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The approach also helps children heal from past stress or trauma and encourages parents to become more self-aware. Ultimately, Aware Parenting aims to raise compassionate, well-adjusted individuals by nurturing their emotional health in a respectful, understanding environment.
